06 September 2013


I have a pretty amazing life. I have a great job, I am part of a really fantastic charity where I get to dress up in costume and make kids smile, I get to do what I love when as a freelance costume designer/makeup artist, I have the opportunity to be in shows quite often, and I am working to become a powerlifter. It's all amazing! I get to go places and do things that people dream about, but sometimes it gets hard. Maybe it's just a matter of being overwhelmed, burning the candle at both (or six...) ends, or maybe I can't make a decision on what to do with my life. Sometimes life stuff is hard. My body aches and I can't figure out why or how to fix it. People do or take things, disappointment hits me hard, I feel like I'm not very pretty or that I won't ever find someone who will want to spend the rest of forever with me. I feel like my friends aren't necessarily against me, but they aren't for me either, and the stress gets to the point where I'm just maxed out. That's where I'm at right now. My life isn't perfect. Sometimes it's hard. Sometimes I just want to scream and cry and be held and not and read a book or write a letter and sleep and sing and sit in silence all at the same time. And then sometimes I don't do any of it, or I do some combination of them.

I am very blessed to have some amazing friends and family and a crazy, but awesome kitty. I do love my life, but sometimes... I have hard days.

22 March 2013

Damn You Auto Correct - The Tiffany Addition

The following conversation took place between myself and a friend last night after I got home from the gym and it was so funny that I couldn't not share it.  I had my very own "Damn You Auto Correct" moment!

  • Me: Doing well. Just got back from the gym. Super hard day, but it paid off. I impressed my trainer by doing my very first sumo deadlift with "perfect" form! 
    My shins do not love me, but that's ok. I feel great about it and I love the lift!
    Her: awesome!
    • Me: This must be how runners feel when they have a great run! 

      Her: I think so!
      • Me: When I run, I just feel like punching someone in the throat, vomiting, and dying. Lol!

        • Her: hahahahahahahahahaha
          You got issues.
          • Me: I've never understood the feeling they talk about when associated with running, but this is the best! I am full of endorsements.
            End of fins.
            Damn it!!!
            I hate auto correct!
            Those feel good hormones that my phone obviously has none of. 

            Dear phone, the word is ENDORPHINS!!!  Good grief!
            Definition: any of a group of endogenous peptides (as enkephalin) found especially in the brain that bind chiefly to opiate receptors and produce some pharmacological effects (as pain relief) like those of opiates. - www.merriam-webster.com

            Sometimes, I hate technology... But usually just when it makes me look like an idiot.

            For the record, I was practically ROLLING on the ground laughing because it was so silly!  End of fins!?  Oh man!
            This is a picture of me doing the lift, by the way.

          03 March 2013

          Sunday Thoughts

          I am tired of hearing that we should expect to be mediocre, and it is ok. I EXPECT 100% from myself and from other people. I think we SHOULD make goals to achieve perfection, we SHOULD push ourselves to get there, and we SHOULD know and love ourselves and we must be kind to ourselves and others WHEN (not if) we fail. That does not mean we don't try and fail again and again, but we accept, love, and learn so we can progress. In the end, we won't be perfect. We will each probably have perfect moments, but not on a whole. We will fail. A lot. We have to be kind to ourselves and keep going without getting too hard on ourselves, but I refuse to stop expecting perfection because when we stop expecting that, our bar will drop and people will accept less as good enough, and I will not stoop to that level. End rant.

          15 January 2013

          Sometimes Life is Hard

          As I'm just laying in my bed tonight, I am thinking, sometimes life is hard. Sometimes things are really hard! I had my feelings hurt pretty badly by a dear friend of mine the other day. Someone who is almost family. It hurts, and they most likely have no idea that they did it. Either that or they don't care. What hurts the most is that I think it is the second one and that makes me even sadder. Anyway, the hard thing is trying not to act hurt. Trying to pretend it's all normal and trying to make it better. I am just not tough enough some days. Also, I fell on some ice this weekend and my knee hurts a ton! It's all bruised and swollen. I do not like winter. Bleh. Ok, so this is a pity party post. It happens sometimes.

          07 January 2013

          Power Lifting Win

          Real conversation at the gym tonight:

          *while I'm bending over doing dumbell rows*
          Power lifter 1 "Have you been having her do squats?"
          Trainer and power lifter 2 "She did 175 max effort last week."
          Me "Snaps!"
          Power lifter 1 "I was just wondering because her ass is rounder!"
          Me *defensive/self conscious* "Don't look at my bum!"
          Power lifter 1 "No, it's in a good way! You're looking more toned."
          Me "Um... Thank you then." *going back to the weights*

          Power lifting for the win! I think... :)

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