11 December 2011


Love is such a complex thing.  I’ve been thinking about love a lot lately.  What love is, what love isn’t.  Love is kind, love is unselfish, love is painful at times, but most of all, love is worth it.  It is worth having, it’s worth waiting for, and it is worth giving.

I love so many people in so many different ways.  I love my family of course, and I love my friends.  It’s something that I am so grateful for.  I don’t know what I would do without love in my life.

This last week I saw two kinds of love that impacted me deeply.  Firstly, my first and oldest friend, had her baby girl this week.  I am always absolutely amazed with these tiny little ones.  They are such special, powerful spirits.  It is amazing to me that I can feel so much overwhelming love for such a tiny person that I’ve never met before in this life.  It’s so powerful.  So tender.  The other experience is that I was able to attend a friend’s wedding.  It was really beautiful seeing these two begin their lives together.  They are so happy and they deserve it.  The officiator was who really made some interesting comments that really made the impact on me.

Confession: I have a secret.  I love someone.  This is not a particularly new development.  It is something I’ve felt for a while now.  It doesn’t change anything and I am not expecting anything.  I’m just truly grateful he’s in my life.  He is kind, smart (crazy smart actually), funny, caring, handsome, driven, and he is one of the best men I’ve ever met.  He doesn’t understand how amazing he is, but he’s absolutely choice.  I can only hope that someday I will be loved by someone like him.

I have had struggles with wondering when I will find “Mr. Right” and when it will be my time.  I have realized that it’s ok.  I don’t need (or want) to hear how “someday I will find him” or how “I should be patient and it will happen when the time is right.”  I get it that people are just trying to be supportive and give words of encouragement, but please, remember when you were where I am.  Would you want to hear that same sentiment for the 523,482nd time?  No, you wouldn’t.  I know that I will find him.  I have chosen faith, hope, and action instead of fear, discouragement, and disappointment. 

I love my life and the opportunities I’ve been able to have.  I love everyone who makes my life wonderful.  My Savior is my rock, and my family, friends and my little best friend Moe are the greatest support.  I feel so much love from all angles of my life, especially when I am having a hard time.  Thank you for everything and thank you for helping me have hope and helping me know I’m worth it.

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